Updated: Feb 15, 2021
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me whether creating a target was necessary, or whether we should go with the flow. I told her: “Imagine that you were taking a taxi, and when the taxi driver asked you, ‘Where do you want to go?’, you said, ‘Hmmm, I do not know. I will go with the flow.’ Do you think the taxi driver knows where to take you?”
I believe this is similar to life. If we know what we want to create in life, we can more easily focus and avoid getting distracted. Therefore, it is always good to set a target. However, we do need to go with the flow in achieving that.
What do I mean by that?
Let’s say you want to become an entrepreneur. You must set your income target or your break-even point. You can’t just say, “Oh, well, I’ll sell it when I sell it.” When you know what your target is, even though you do not know how to get there, just like riding in a taxi, you can ask people along the way for help.
For instance, some of the questions we can ask are:
What can I be or do to reach my target?
Is there more information that I require in order to get to my target?
What else and where else can I learn about this so that I can reach my target?
Whom do I need to speak to?
Where can I market my product?
Whom can I invite to collaborate with me?
What is the next step?
When something does not work, we can ask the questions all over again and choose something different. By asking these questions, we will become inspired by the different possibilities available to us.
This is totally different from concluding, “I will never reach my target, as I do not have marketing skills” instead of asking, “Where can I learn about marketing skills so that I can reach my target?”
By asking a question, we are being flexible in our approach, as we are not concluding that we are going to reach our target by doing x,y,x, which might be out of date by the time we implement our idea. Instead, we have the flexibility to adjust or change anything that does not work every step of the way. This is what I mean by “go with the flow.”
There are a few things that we should remember about asking a question:
1. Nothing is set in stone.
People change, situations change. Therefore, even when we ask the same questions, we might get a different awareness/answer based on the person involved, the time-lapse, etc.
It also means that even if a person tells you that a target is not possible because that person failed to reach it, the target is not necessarily impossible for you, as you are a different individual. Their story might not necessarily be yours.
2. Do not invest too much in “when it comes” and “how it comes.”
When we seek inspiration, some of us have a fixed idea of when it should come, how it will come, and in what form it will come. When the inspiration shows up in a manner different from what we expect, we cannot see it, as it does not match our expectations. Or when the inspiration does not come immediately, we think that asking reflective questions is a waste of time.
So, I said to my friend, "if you do not know what your target is in 2021, you can ask the following questions:
What is possible for me that I never considered before?
What will expand my life?
What bring me joy?
So note to my younger self : Never stop asking questions, Be your own coach.
Devi is graduated from HKU LLM. Human Rights Programme. She is a qualified coach and facilitator under the Dream Builder Programme of Mary Morissey and Access Consciousness.