Fear and Faith

Does fear bring about faith? Does man think about God, however you wish to describe God, only when he is in pain or suffering? Is there more to the Christian belief that you need to know suffering in order to reach God?

I have been asking myself this question through my trials during cancer treatment. Was I able to go further on my path of spirituality during this time because I was in need? Did I find unquestioning faith because I was desperate to be healed?

Following my diagnosis in early January 2020, I was introduced to a psychic healer, Niall McLeod Waldman. The concept of energy healing was not new to me as my mother is an accomplished Pranic healer. I also firmly believe in all things and thoughts having energy fields and the power to heal or hurt. I was drawn towards spiritual philosophy and thought. Meditation had already been a regular practice.

Even with this background, for quite a few sessions with Niall, there was some holding back. Ego, according to Niall. I was lucky that I had a good master and soon enough, I could rid myself of that which was holding me back. Thenceforth, I dove in deep. And the experience was quite literally out of this world. The results, even more amazing.

I went in with complete faith, believing all the messages coming to me, trusting that the power to heal myself was within me and I was being shown how to harness it through divine wisdom. I implicitly and unhesitatingly believed it all to be true. While trying to explain it to someone not in the same boat, I would use logic to question whether something is untrue simply because the science of today has not gone far enough to be able to explain it. The earth was flat until proven to be spherical, to give a clichéd example. I myself needed no logic. I had faith.

It does lead me to question though, would I have that unquestioning faith were it not for my sickness. Looking around me, I usually find people who have embarked on the spiritual path, and I define this loosely, are those who are seeking something, invariably relief from pain. Pain caused by loss, sickness, relationship, business, profession are all reasons enough to turn to God and look for salvation. Very few are those who are naturally inclined towards spirituality and seek it for its own sake.

This then brings me back to the original question, do we need suffering to show us faith? I do not claim to know the answer. Certainly for me, the suffering expedited my journey towards faith.

A crucial element to help in the journey is having a guru or spiritual teacher who can guide you. We may seek a guru but not everyone finds one. I believe that a guru came to me because I really needed one at this time. This begs the question again, does suffering lead you to a master?

The two questions are related, of course. You find a teacher who helps you find faith.

Whatever be the answer or individual experience, one thing is absolutely clear – to me anyway - the universe contrives to give us what we seek, all we have to do is ask...and we shall receive.

July 2020

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