Updated: Jan 19
I didn’t always feel empowered.
For most of my life, I felt a huge gaping hole and wound inside of me. A feeling of disconnection from myself and from others, a deep sense of isolation, of being alone, and being misunderstood. It was like I was living on the outside in a world that felt alien to me.
With low self-esteem, I grew up with immense self-hate and such little self-value. I couldn’t see anything at all about ‘me’ that was worthy. I lacked self-love. I was a ‘people-pleaser’ that easily gave her power away to others in order to be loved and to be liked. I did everything I could to find a sense of self, a sense of identity, through getting validation from others. When I didn’t get it, I would feel there was something inherently wrong with me. Such was the feeling of shame.
As a deeply sensitive person, I would easily pick-up on what others were feeling, including their judgements and fears, to the point where I would internalise them and make them my own. I would often use their judgements against myself. In other words, I would reject myself further, adding to the internal rejection I was already levelling at myself. I didn’t understand at the time that it was my perception based on the limiting beliefs about myself that were being reflected back to me. Or, that their behaviour was often a projection of their own self judgements.
I experienced a long line of trauma, stress and challenges through my childhood and early adult life. This also included several years of ill-health (and later death) of both my parents.
I felt powerless and I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel a sense of security and stability when all around me felt so shaky and uncertain. I didn’t want anyone to know how I was truly feeling, so I kept hidden those parts that might be vulnerable or judged, that might be hurt or pained further. I put in place all kinds of protection mechanisms to hide the true me. I tried to control the pain and feelings through alcohol and a food disorder. It was when I hit rock bottom with depression, poor health and had given up on life, that the only thing left was to unravel ‘me’, and to heal.
To move from isolating, shielding and hiding.... to facing myself and being seen. To feel the discomfort. To be ‘present’ to myself. There was a deep soul urge to find my own way, my own truth, because I wanted to feel free. I needed to connect to ‘me’. And so began my Empowerment journey.
What did I do?
I empowered myself by facing myself and the shame I was feeling. I began to see that I would only truly heal through accepting all of ‘me’. It was a process of self-discovery, to find out who I was.
I had to allow myself to fully feel and not run away. To deal with the pain, the inner challenges and inner struggles. To confront the self-punishing behaviors and limited ways of thinking.
So, I dug deeper to heal the wounds, the trauma, and the issues from childhood. I challenged the limiting thoughts and beliefs of not feeling good enough, feeling powerless, unsafe, and that love was painful...
I started to connect with the ‘untouched’ parts of self - those parts of me that I had buried, judged, denied. It meant I had to go deeper into the shadow of myself, to reveal and shine my light and love.
I let go the family and genetic patterns that were no longer serving me; and the collective trauma that was deeply held in my memory and cells.I cut energy cords to the past - so I could feel free in the present. I connected to my true core self; and came to forgiveness, acceptance and deeper levels of peace.
With a growing trust in myself and my intuition, and the connection to my expression of Source, I found my voice. I started to feel ‘enough.’ I started to know I was worthy and deserving. I began to drop the shame and to speak up, to be heard, to be understood. I opened. I started to feel love for ‘me’.
As part of my healing process, I downloaded a set of healing symbols that were part of an ancient system of healing connected to Dragon Energy. As I channelled these symbol Light codes from spirit, they were further opening me to healing parts and issues I had long-held. I realised later that that these symbols were integral to the Empowerment journey I had chosen, and were to be shared with others to help them in theirs, too. I love what I do, and now teach and share this unique system of healing with people around the world.
I am following my heart and a path that deeply fulfils me. It lights me up. Sharing what I have learned inspires me to help more people.
Here are some Tips to Empowerment that can help:
1. Choose to be the Master of your life: You always have a choice - no matter what your situation or circumstance. Even if you can’t change it, you can choose how you respond to it, and, you can choose to accept how you feel. In changing your reaction, you move out of powerlessness. You can then ask ‘What can I do about this situation?’ and allow the answers to come to you, to be able to take the necessary action steps. In accepting how you feel, you shift any resistance and develop mastery over your emotions.
2. Let go of the past: Our past has given us a great richness of learning and opportunity – even those very painful and challenging experiences. When we feel grateful for the learning it’s given, and with understanding, we can let it go. In holding onto the past, your thoughts (and energy) constantly re-attach to the experience and can be a drain on your energy. You can feel powerless or a victim to that situation. So be that Master of your life. Decide to resolve what you can, and then let go anything that is no longer appropriate. Cut energy cords as need be. This will free you in the present moment time, where you are ‘free’ to create what you want in your life from that point forward.
3. Know yourself: Be open to getting to know the ‘true’ you. Understand your emotions and feeling nature, reveal and embrace your shadow aspects, appreciate your strengths and also your weaknesses. Choose to not be limited by your own mind, your unhealthy belief systems and debilitating patterns. Allow yourself to go deeper, to heal. Develop self-awareness to see how you become imbalanced, where you deflate yourself, or what triggers you to go into feelings like a lack of self-love, lack of self-confidence, or self-doubt. Become aware of other people’s patterns, and if they may be projecting their own issues onto you. Be mindful, so you can recognise what’s yours and what isn’t, and yet still feel empowered and good about yourself in the process.
4. Meditate to Connect to Self: Create time to connect to your inner core self and inner power. This bolsters your feeling of self-confidence as you understand your true self and your uniqueness. This Self-Empowerment helps you understand your life path, including the painful and difficult parts, and understand them as opportunities of learning and growth. As you develop your light, you strengthen your energy field (and also develop boundaries). Create that self-reflection time to drop into stillness, deeper levels of inner peace and fulfilment, and allow your inner truth to be revealed.
5. Learn to say ‘no’ and create healthy boundaries: You can’t please everyone. Helping others is wonderful, but if you over-extend your energy and your time, or you allow others to take advantage of you, it often is at cost to yourself (ie. you suffer as a result). Learning to say ‘no’ is an act of self-respect, self- compassion and self-care. Creating healthy boundaries ultimately boosts your levels of self-worth and self-value. People start to treat you with more kindness and respect. Learn to say ‘no’ when something is not right for you - listen to your inner self, and trust yourself and the process. As you empower your connection to Self, your self-love, light and inner power increases, and healthy boundaries become a natural extension to that.
6. Listen to your intuition and claim your decision-making power: Your inner core higher self/ soul truly knows you and what is best for you. Your intuition is one of your greatest tools, for it is the means by which your soul and higher guidance can communicate through you. By attuning and listening to your intuition you learn to trust yourself and your decisions and choices. You learn to know that you can rely on yourself. This helps you build and strengthen the Empowered You. Listen and act upon your higher inner core self / soul guidance and intuitive nudges.
7. Follow your heart, dreams & visions to manifest them: When you follow your heart, your dreams, your intuition and what you know is right for you, you are allowing that deeper ‘Empowered You’ to come forward and to be expressed in the world. You allow your true purpose to be birthed, which further strengthens your empowerment. In meditation, connect to your inner core self/soul/higher self to get clear about the direction you wish to take in your soul-fulfilled life. Write down your dreams and visions, and look at them daily. Set your intentions and watch them unfold. Through understanding your true power, you can also utilise the Laws of the Universe and higher forces of energy for manifestation.
8. Contribution and adding value to the lives of others: When you feel empowered, with an open heart and mind, you naturally want to extend out and share with others. You know that as you follow your heart, your own path and create your own life, you can be an example to help others do the same. As you follow your heart, you are following your Love.
Empowerment with Love always considers the good of all. So - what do you want to create?
About Michelle Harris
Michelle offers emotional healing, empowerment tools, soul mentoring and life solutions to those seeking peace, growth and transformation. Her international clients include organizations, schools, businesses, and people of all ages from all walks of life. Her work is regularly featured in various media and publications. Michelle teaches individual and group sessions that inspire you to live your magnificence – personally, spiritually and professionally.